Revision Plan

 

• Clear up time line

• Clear up message, maybe focus of impact on experience

• See if we can cut dead air

• Cut back list examples and repetitive moments

• Replace questions with section headers

• Black screen with explanatory text?

• Banner text across screen?

• Attempt? to avoid obscuring her face

• Emphasis in subtitles to illustrate raised volume or important key points  

• Highlight repeated phrases instead of repeating

• Reflect emphasis and passion in subtitles perhaps even volume

• Work on sequence of events and story structure

• Splice out unnecessary audio and voice